Beyonce Clown

I just stumbled upon this and I can't believe I never saw it before. Nothing about it makes sense but together it's a masterpiece.

Britney In The Center of the Ring

Photo Courtesy of MTV.COM

Last week I attended the third and final Britney Spears show at Madison Square Garden and before you judge me let me just say this--I got $60 tickets for $18. WHO in their right mind WOULDN'T go see that hot mess for $18?? Ya feel me?? I go to plenty of real shows and see plenty of awesome bands so I think it's perfectly acceptable that I wanted to see the pop icon of my generation on the cheap before she can't even be propped up to pretend to sing any more. And really, who doesn't want to hear a little "Toxic" or "Womanizer "wasted with smoke machines and jumbo trons? That's right, YOU DO! Now that you've admitted it and we're all on the same level let's move on...

So thankfully my friends and I decided to skip out on the opening act (Jordin Sparks, barf) and made it just in time for the count down to Brit. We had our $9.25 fountain soda, sippy cup sized beers in hand as we huffed it up to our nosebleed seats, which were shockingly not so terrible!



The show opened with a techno overture--no live instruments of course--along with performers from the Big Apple Circus. Midgets and legless girls jumping on trampolines abound (I have no idea how jumping on a trampoline with no legs wasn't killing her business with every bounce) and it was... entertaining? Ehh, not really who am I kidding, it was dull. I get that it was a Circus themed show and all but if you're gonna go all out circus go ALL OUT CIRCUS! Where were the elephants and tigers jumping through hoops? And clowns!? Well, maybe tigers wouldn't be a good idea since Britney's reflexes aren't at their sharpest these days and clowns are kind of scary, but at least a baby elephant would have been good!

Finally after about 20 minutes of circus freaking Britney, our ringmaster for the evening, was revealed via the prerecorded Queen of the Circus, Perez Hilton, and to everyone's relief she looked good! Really good! She definitely got her shape back and she knew it. But the moves, still not quite there unfortunately. It was much better than her disastrous "Gimme More" comeback performance at the VMA's but it was still mostly a lot of hand movements, strutting and posing and not much real dancing. Her backup dancers we really good, though they probably needed to be to distract you from the lack of mmmph coming from Britney herself.

The token "wtf?" moments of the night included a video of Britney dancing, or not so much dancing but slinking around in a teddy with more carny freaks and gay backup dancers to Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams," and then some sexy cartoon versions of Britney on the jumbo tron that were actually kind of entertaining. Another random highlight was Ed Alonzo, aka Max the magician from "Saved By The Bell," who is a real illusionist whom I also caught on an episode of "Top Chef" recently.



Ed, aka Max, made Britney disappear from inside a box...

Courtesy f MTV.com

and then reappear in nerd glasses and red spandex pants that seemed to disappear on the jumbo tron, highlighting only a green underpants line below her waste. DOUBLE ILLUSION! Classy Britney.












Courtesy of MTV.com

The best songs of the night were definitely the older hits such as "Boys," "Hit Me Baby One More Time," "Slave," and "Toxic." The new songs didn't fall short either "Gimme More," If You Seek Amy" and "Womanizer" were the biggest crowd pleasers but then again it's hard for prerecorded pop songs to fall short when you know exactly how everything is gonna go down. And when I say this show was prerecorded I mean this bitch didn't actually speak or sing one word on her own. Apparently she yelled "what's up NY" at some point but my second fountain beer on top of the two glasses of sangria I had consumed earlier that night must have kicked in because I totally missed that part.

All in all it was a good show for $18. Had I spent $60 or more (which I would have NEVER done!) I probably would have been a little disappointed in the lack of energy but I got what I was expecting and hoping for, a ridiculous and entertaining spectacle with drunken dancing and to see a recovering pop legend get a second or third or 8th chance at doing what she does best... taking off her clothes and lip syncing. Hey give her a break, she's Britney Bitch.

TV Recap: The Real Housewives of New Jersey--Reunited and it Feels So... Parts One and Two

The final chapter in the first season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey has ended. This Reunion was VERY strange, to say the least. From being shot in an "undisclosed location" near the railroad tracks to eyebrow lifts to death threats, these women are a whole new breed of housewife that I very much look forward to watching. You can read my recaps of both parts one and two on Cinemablend, but I think the biggest question is, WHAT THE FUCK did Danielle try to do to Dina?? I know today is an ode to MJ but somebody PLEASE investigate this!

Tv Recap: Real Housewives of New Jersey, Season Finale, The Last Supper

Late in linking to this recap but everyone should make sure they see this episode and the reunion special which airs on Tuesday. This shit was out of control. I'm 100% convinced after seeing this that Caroline inherited the role as mob boss after her father was knocked off. She's just too comfortable in the leadership role and Dina looks too scared of her. If Danielle goes missing soon you know who to turn to. You can find my recap here and below are a few clips for fun. Notice the Sopranos tone and images of the NJ Parkway. So ridic.

TV Recap: The Real Housewives of New Jersey-Red & Black and Read All Over

I'm a day late on posting this to my blog (I'm sure all three of you were worried SICK!) but HERE it is. Let me tell you, this episode was a DOOZY, but it's all just build up to the day Teresa flips the table. THAT will be amazing. Also if you haven't been paying attention to the gossip going on about Danielle and her shady past, read UP! This poor, mess of a woman is just asking to get killed. I hope that face of hers actually is removable because she's going to need to find a new identity very soon.

TV Recap: The Real Housewives Of New Jersey - Not One of Us

Last week on RHNJ we got to learn a little bit more about the strange frenemy relationship between Dina and Danielle and the previews for this week led us to believe we'd finally learn who these mysterious rumors are about and what they are about. Though we do get a taste of some dirt there still seems to be a lot to uncover and I have a feeling Bravo is going to keep us hanging for a while. But here's one dream that I can crush for you early in, Gia did NOT get the lead role in the movie starring along side THE ROCK DUANE JOHNSON! Noooooooo! Read the entire recap here on Cinemablend.

This Made My Day

God damn he's sexy.


Via Videogum