When we left off, Spencer had lied to Holly and told her that he AND Heidi wanted her out. Now Holly is back--acting as if Spencer never did the scummiest thing in the world to her, what's with the world of denial these Montag's live in?--and, like any normal 20 something living in LA, starring in a reality show, she wants to HIT the town and make some friends.
Blank stares from Heidi and Spencer, "like you mean, leave the house? Talk to people? Do you even know how to make an entrance? Or order sour apple martinis? Or use a toilet?"
You? Out? In Front of People? Stop joking and get back in your cage. Here, mess up Spencer's Tivo. It's my only thrill in life.
Holly pushes her point further by threatening Speidi with the possibility of calling their mortal enemy,"the only people I know are you guys and..." DUUUnn Dunnn DUUUUUN! "Lauren."
I think Spencer's clear beard just multiplied and each hair grew its own tiny individual beard, like the hulk, but in beard form.
Spencer will have NONE of this LAUREN business! He is laying down the law. Who does she think she is anyway? His girlfriend's sister who can do whatever she wants and be friends with whomever she wants and run amok all over town full of people who despise him! Not while his beard lives and breathes!
"While you're under this roof, there will be no fraternizing or socializing." You tell her Spencer! How dare she get out of the house and give you back your solitude like you asked for. Your abusive, 1950's dad act is SURE to scare the DICKENS out of her and make her see why she should be friends with you over sweet and pretty Lauren! You make OH so much SENSE!
Suddenly Lauren gets a text from Holly. Lauren's voice is so raspy, what's the deal? Too much fighting? Too much partying? Too much begging for friendship?
Lauren wants to see Holly but she doesn't want to cause problems with the evil twins again.
Holly meets Lauren for lunch and receives a warm welcome! They've missed each other!
Holly tells Lauren how living with Speidi is rough. Umm yeah? Would you find it easy to live with these creepy old bitty's 24 hours a day, trapped in the basement?
Lauren explains to Holly how her friendship with Steph is rocky because of Heidi and Spencer and she's not sure if she wants to go through that again. But ya know, if you wanna chill call me!
Back in Aujobbyville (I tried combining Audrina and Justin Bobby there. I don't think it's working but I'll keep it up for the sake of making this post as awkward as the TENSION in the show--or because I really want to coin a Nickname) Jobby (OOH I like that one!) takes Audrina out to a fancy dinner. She tells Jobby how the tension with the girls is WAY better thanks to his ever so wise advice. Audrina asks Jobby to come to her work party for The White Tie Affair and he reluctantly agrees. Looks like we're starting to see a bit of the old Jobby back in action. I KNEW his woodsman mystique was too good to be true!
Sure I'll go to you're work party. Will you be there? Oh you will? Hmmm.. I'll meet you.
The next day Audrina invites Lauren and Lo to the party. They agree to come and are excited to be hanging out ONCE again. Lauren also fills Audrina in on the Holly drama. Audrina thinks it might be weird if she starts hanging out with Holly, but that hasn't stopped Lauren from pursuing doomed friendships in the past. Lauren and Audrina both can agree though that Holly being in LA might be a good thing because she could have a positive influence on Heidi.
I mean, maybe she'll like, save her soul you know? Like maybe a certain someone with a name that rhymes with denser could have a small accident, that could be REALLY good for Heidi, ya know?
Later that night at The White Tie Affair party Lauren, Lo and Steph show up and Audrina is happy to see them. The girls LOVE the band.
YAAAHHH! You Came! You Like Me!
OHH but wait? Where's Jobby? He didn't show? Now Audrina's face is sad.
Sad face :(
Lauren is FEELIN' this band! She's not bobbing her head back and forth like she normally would at one of Audrina's "weird shows."
Back at the Apartment of death, Heidi is trying to be HIPSTER now! A beret! Big hoop earrings! Off the shoulder shirt, loose jeans!
What? It's like 82 degrees out. I needed a hat or I might get sick.
Holly tells Heidi that she saw Lauren and Heidi goes BALLISTIC! The accusations are a flying! She's jealous and sad. Don't worry Heidi, Mamma Holly will make it alllllll better. She will MEND this friendship if it kills her! Even if it means using the same tactics to brainwash Lauren that Spencer used on you! Not to worry child!
Back at the after party, Sean the guitarist is hitting on Steph BIG TIME. He shows her his tattoos...
and Steph admits to having her tongue pierced once. I KNEW I smelled a raver!
"Where's Justin?" Yeah, where's Justin! She don't know?!? "Way to be a BUZZ kill," says Lauren. Ooooh why don't you turn that KNIFE a little deeper Lauren, ouch!
Audrina is second guessing Jobby again. She knows not to invest her feelings in him, but she'll keep seeing him. Thus is the the magic of JB.
The next day in class Lauren tells Steph she hung out with Holly and that even though she loves Holly, her friendship with Steph makes her reluctant to venture down that road again. She's afraid Speidi will kill Holly if she taints her with her powers of miracle friendship.
It's sad ya know? Like it could be great but Spencer has probably already started plotting her death and it's nice that he's focusing his efforts on someone other than me.
At work, Heidi tells her co-worker Kimberly about Holly hanging with Lauren and how she's sad she can't be friends with Lauren anymore. She regrets the fighting. She's hoping that Holly can mend their friendship. But on the other side of things, Lauren is hoping that Holly isn't thinking she can fix their friendship, cuz it AIN'T happening yo.
Next Week: Audrina and Lo are left alone (too soon?) and they run into Heidi and Spencer at a bar. Ewwwwwww
Steph goes on a date with Doug E fresh and people warn her not to date Lauren's leftovers. Bitchy Brody makes a huge deal about it and he tattles on Steph. But who cares? Lauren didn't want him anyway and someone's gotta make use of that JET! Go for it Steph! I bet Doug E likes a tongue ring. Pass that imaginary ball his way, nah mean?
