The Real Housewives of Atlanta: First Look

In honor of this disgusting heat wave I wanted to take an in-depth look at Bravo's latest installment of "The Real Housewives" series to see what these Hotlanta biatches be all about. From looking at the above photo I can tell we're in for a TREAT because they are looking PRETTY damn tacky and sassy. Unfortunately I had to WORK all week--I know, lame right?--but lucky for me my dear pal Jen was sitting at home (for reasons that are none of yo business) enjoying the day watching Bravo's half hour preview of the new series. Jen is also the QUEEN of television and all thing celebrity/pop culture so I thought it fitting and an honor for someone with her vast array of reality TV knowledge to give her initial thoughts and insight on this new series. So without further ado, I bring you, "The Real Housewives of Atlanta": First Look by Professor/Dr. Television, J.Savage. Take it away Jen!

In the latest incarnation of "The Real Housewives...", Bravo is taking us to the HOTlanta, and on behalf of reality TV fans everywhere, let me just say, "Ahthankyouverymuch." For the past few seasons, I've been an avid fan of both the RHOC and RHNY, but this new show might just take the proverbial cake. First of all, I don't know what the dollar is worth down there in the deep south, but I can only assume that it equates to the worth of the Hope Diamond the way these chicas are blowing through dough. These women don't just have assistants or housekeepers, nay, we are talking a STAFF of employees for the manors to which they reside. I'm talking Estate Managers, Head Housekeepers, Fleets of Maids, Stylists, Hairdressers, Chefs, Governesses AND Nannies, etc. Can we say balllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllin!!

Lets take a gander at who we be joining in TV F-List stardom:

1. First we meet Lisa Hartwell. Homegirl is married to an NFL football player, has a 9 month old baby, and appears to run a mere 143 businesses! The woman exhausted me and all I was doing was sitting on my couch crushing a canister of pringles. I think she snorts Red Bull for breakfast because she does not effing stop moving. I pray her inevitable meltdown is captured on camera, because it WILL happen. I see the cracks. Otherwise, she's harmless (aka BORING) and her segments will probably succomb to the FF button on my remote. (I should mention that with all reality TV I try to get through it as fast as possible without missing any vital drama. It's a little game I like to play with my DVR. My greatest achievement to date is getting through a 2 hr episode of Idol in 20 min. That's right, suck it Seacrest!)

2. Next, there's DeShawn. Her husband is some sort of athlete, I wasn't really paying attention because I was flabberghasted at her motherflippin house! It's not a house, it's like a castle/ manor/Barbie dream house/mansion all rolled into one. The only hitch is that it appears to have two giant tiki huts attached to the pool--complete with thatched roofs. A little cheesy if you ask me.

3. Then there's NeNe. Now, I believe she is to be the most dramatic of all the ATL housewives. I can't put my finger on it yet, but the previews lead us to believe that she's going to go toe-to-toe with the rest of the ATL housewives. I could have sworn I heard one of them refer to her as a drag queen. YAY CATTINESS!

4. Then there's NeNe's best friend Kim. Ahhh yes, she is to be my favorite housewife of ALL--I think. In the brief 10 minutes that we meet Kim, we learn that she calls her sugar daddy "big papa." He prefers to remain anonymous and some of her friends don't even know who this "big papa" character is. Shrouded in mystery that Kim. She's also an aspiring country singer. People often mistake her for, ahem, Faith Hill and Carrie Underwood. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah I think what they meant was the drag queens that portray them on the Vegas strip Kim, but whatever! Watching her country stardom dreams be crushed on TV is going to be sweet, sweet entertainment.

5. Last but not least is Sheree. Sheree scares the BEJUSUS out of me, so I am only going to say lovely things about her! I felt like she could crush me through my television if I so much as looked at it the wrong way. Needless to say, she was cast as the Queen Bee to be revered and feared by all ATL society.

I believe this is set to air some time in the Fall, so set your DVR's to season pass this shiz because Bravo has once again delivered pure class and eloquence to the airwaves.

Epilogue - I believe this can only be topped by "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," which I hear is in the works...