Oedipus and The Chronic

My dear friend Lisa passed along this hilarious report, courtesy of her friend Vlad, that some sweetly retarded child wrote in highschool. I assume highschool? It's pretty obvious that whoever wrote this is actually quite the opposite of dumb and may be the missing link in fact. He captures the story of Oedipus with more beauty and candor than I ever remembered it having. Perhaps it's time to take another gander.

I must say some of my favorite parts are his candid comparisons of Oedipus to the likes of Dr. Dre; the smooth transitions and eloquence of his writing that shakes me to the core; his ability to threaten your life without the slightest of hesitations and then stealthily slide into a poetic masterpiece focused on poppin' collas and hangin' with fine wenches; the way in which his creative mind forms mind boggling metaphors, his uncanny knowledge of the history of anal sex, and his unflinching love of pictures and clip art.

Ahh yes, this young man is quite the genius in fact and despite the D- that his teacher gave him, I think deep down she enjoyed the paper. She even notes his humor within the first paragraph but begrudgingly realizes by the end that this in fact can not be the true story of Oedipus so he can not receive anything but a failing grade, but it WILL DEFINITLEY make an amazing viral email to send to all of her friends and in the end, isn't that really what matters?

Click the pictures below to enlarge the paper. Please take the time to soak up every line, and comment. It's worth it.