Lauren and the gang all hop on Doug E Fresh's daddy's jet to fly to Vegas for the weekend in celebration of Frankie's b-day. Lauren may have broken Doug E's heart but she still gets to reap the benefits of his massive wealth. That's a girl who KNOWS what she's doing! P.S. Can I get Doug E's number?
Once the group boards the plane the party begins. The bubbly is popped, black sunglasses rule, and lookeehere! Brody wants to propose a toast! How sweet!
Brody begins, "Having little Steph here is just as good as having Spencer. " Empty glares abound, uhh whaaaa??? Brody, is that sarcasm I sense? I didn't realize you were such a queen of mean! Shall I dub the Leona Helmsley for this episode? This could be the best weekend EVER!
Uhh Whaaa??
Leona Helmsley a.k.a. Brody, Queen of Mean
The girls go to their room--which is like the most beautiful hotel room I've ever laid my povo eyes on--and ohh snap! Lo starts with the REAL question that's on EVERYONE'S mind. Who is Lauren going to make out with during this SINFUL weekend? Doug E Fresh or Bitchy Brody? Never mind, Lauren's SO over it, been there done that! No make outs this weekend, :(
But what Steph wants to know is "WTF?" Why is Brody talking crap about her behind her back but then acting like they're besties in front of Lauren?? WTF?!?!?
Back in LA, Heidi comes home to Spencer after a hard days work at the office. It looks like Spencer is all tuckered out from his equally grueling day of lounging and double fisting Atari games on his three, COUNT 'em THREE arcade systems.
Heidi drops the bomb that her sister Holly WILL definitely be moving in with them for while. Spencer's reaction? OH he says that's the quickest way to get him to move out! Well if that's the way to get him out let's get this ball rolling! Heidi you better move that girl in ASAP! It's the only way to save your SOUL!
Back in party central, the girls go visit Frankie and Brody after settling in and MAN ALIVE Brody's room is a FREAKING PALACE! Note: His sunglasses never leave his head. Maybe he's secretly a vampire prince?
The girls start to complain about how Audrina is being, OMG, SO RUDE. They are totes on the outs. Brody is hatin' on Audrina big time. Me thinks SOMEBODY is taking lessons from old Spencey Wencey these days. Is he missing his bro love?
Commercial break: Oohh Lauren looks gorge for the VMA's, although WHITE after Labor Day? Treading on Dangerous turf LC, but you still look adorbs. Question: Is the only way to get those luxurious, flowing blond tendrils by getting extensions? I don't think I could handle the weave pat.
Back in the city, Heidi's sister moves in. HUGSSSS, LOVESS, Exhaustion, and fake enthusiasm from Spencey.
Although Heidi is UBER excited to see her sister move in (with no luggage I might add?) she is ditching her for a romantic dinner with Spencer for the evening. He can't even stomach one hour with this girl. What will Holly eat? Does she understand how the world FUNCTIONS in LA? Do they have such things as take out, sandwiches or even forks and knives in Colorado? HOW WILL THIS GIRL SURVIVE WITHOUT HEIDI TO TEACH HER THE WAYS OF GLAM LIFE!
Side Note: Holly's extensions from her Hollywood makeover are looking banging btw.
OOOH Justin Bobby has come to Vegas with Audrina! JB looks like he's 45 for some reason, but an attractive, manlier 45 I might add. His hat is huge and the brim keeps flipping up and down with no help from his hands though. "Are you there God? It's me JB."
The group ventures down to to a swanky dinner to kick the weekend of partying off right. But wait! First there is the issue of the the sacrificial tears before the fun can begin! Stephanie asks Brody why she and Lauren can't be friends. Oooh Steph you're digging your own GRAVE! The truth come out! Brody spills about her drug problems, and calls her a psycho!
STEPH IS SHOCKED!
Brody is out for BLOOD tonight! Douge E Fresh tries to keep the peace but Brody is being as hateful and belligerent as he possibly can. He is DYING for a fight! Steph's definitely going back to drugs after that beating because that mess was AWKWARD! Maybe Brody needs a good make out, or a hug, or some drugs, or all three, or maybe a threesome? Wow Brody way to bring down the Vegas mood. Now the girls have to go back to their townhouse sized hotel room and cry for an hour, deepening their ever present bond and making Brody's plan backfire. MAN I wanna stay in that hotel room.
Friendship Bond SEALED!
Commercial Break: Back to Lauren in her white dress. She ALMOST said the designer but somehow it got glazed over. But she's so SJP tonight, am I right, am I right?!
Brody and Justin Bobby can agree that they want NO part of the girl drama, yet Brody seems to be causing most of it? What's going ON in that beautifully coiffed head of yours Brodester? And since when is JB the voice of realistic wisdom? It seems he's turned over his philosophizing for some Dr. Phil.
Justin Bobby = The Voice of Wisdom
Lo and Audrina run into each other and once again it's AWKWARD! Audrina thinks the tension is building and Frankie comes to her rescue. He just wants EVERYONE to get along, so he can get them drunk and possibly hold their...hands...yeah, their hands...all at once.
Maybe the problem is that Lauren can only hang out with girls who have the EXACT same hair color as her. Heidi was just a TAD too blond, Audrina is too dark, Whitney is JUST on the cusp of too light but luckily she got her own spin off before she was sent packing. But Lo and Steph are JUST right. Those girls owe their hairstylists their lives.
FOREVER BESTIES!
MORTAL ENEMIES!
Back in LA a monumental event has occurred, Spencer has SHAVED! Look at that! But you can barely tell since his beard is like one of those magic eye paintings anyway. If you squint you can make out the hairs, but when you look at it straight on it all blends together.
Blended Facial Hair/ Skin Color
So what does Spencey have planned for today? Maybe he's going to make Heidi a macaroni necklace? Maybe take in a movie? Maybe change his diaper? OHHH noooo, I see he's come to bitch about Heidi's sister! Again! While she's at work! He's upset because Holly messed up his TIVO, and because he has NOTHING else in the WORLD to do but ruin people's lives! WOW, he really is like a naggy grandma. All he wants to do is gossip and irrationally hate people and watch his programs. Next he's going to start wearing pink rollers in his hair and take up Gin Rummy.
Grandma Spencey
Back in Vegas Lauren and the gang party till 4am despite the Audrina and Stephanie debacles. The time has come to put an END to the bickering they decide. Saint Frankie is here, but alas...he's hungover! His powers of friendship healing are useless after a night of drinking. AND BIG NEWS! OMG BRODY IS IN JAIL! WITH DOUG E FRESH! Brody WAS cruising for a bruising the night before and LOOK what happened, he sealed his FATE! See Part Le Deux for Monday night's recap, coming soon!
Brody and Doug E, Jail Birds!
2 comments:
Oh. Em. Gee. You are hilarious. I found you through Sara, and now I am a subscriber and have read all of your recaps and cannot wait until next week so I can read another. After watching the show on TV, of course.
Thank you for making me laugh out loud in my cubicle.
Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed!
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