Fux Tape

Here is the last edition (for now) of the A Dam Fine Man mux tape. This last installment has a somewhat sexier-time feel dubbing it the Fux Tape. The Fineman shall take it from here, enjoy!


http://www.pbzep70.muxtape.com/

I was recently sorting through my mp3 collection looking for future muxtape-worthy songs, and I kept getting caught up by stray mp3s that didnt seem to fit into any conceivable music mix. Then it dawned on me that all these random mp3s had one thing in common, the ability to stimulate the loins. And with this revelation we have the first and last Fuxtape. All these songs are NSFW due to the increased likelihood of you wanting to dry hump while listening to them. It must be said that these songs were just floating around on my computer and I didn't download them for this express purpose; I understand that much better baby-making music mixes can be assembled (so go make one, you dick).

-This Adina Howard song's awesome chorus samples Bootsy Collin's song "I'd Rather Be With You", and also goes on for way too long.

-Even I have this fucking Boyz II Men song on my computer. Probably the one song on here that you need to have on a mix like this. "throw your clothes! on the floor! ima gonna take my clothes off too" is the best line of all time in any song ever. Shit reminds me of bar mitzvah slow dancing, and I hate it all the more for it.

-Ladies and gentleman, may I reacquaint you with H-Town's Knockin Da Boots. You guys used to be tight back in the day right? I feel like this song could score a Wesley Snipes love-making scene ala Money Train.

-Shake You Down features some terrible fake ass synth harmonica with pitch bendies. Just terrible. But yet here we are, enjoying this song.

-Cut the shit. This Janet Jackson song is still amazing. This fucking thing would be a hit if it came out today. Janet Jackson was at the peak of her bone-ability when this fucker dropped in 1993.

-I really wanted to put Ginuwine's "Pony" on this mix, but apparently the ending of that song has like 45 seconds of skit attached to it, and fucking muxtape wont play cropped mp3s. "So Anxious" is actually better for the purpose of pro-creating, so I guess it's a blessing in disguise. Fucking Ginuwine.

-This Isley Brothers staple was sampled by Biggy for one of his most beloved songs, "Big Poppa". But this slow jam is the jam in its original form too.

-Speaking of that tubby, deceased wordsmith Biggy, here we have a young R. Kelly helping him convey that the chivalry is over, time to fuck! Such a beautiful sentiment and so subtly executed. "I'm fucking you tonight". Whatever does he mean?

-"Too Close" makes me want to dance, and that is a rare thing. Fuck this shit is tight. A song about boners, bestill my heart.

-Keith Sweat's "Twisted" gets me everytime. If you haven't heard this song in awhile you are in for a treat. Except for the rap section, which blows hard.

-This LL Cool J track isn't really baby-making music, but I prefer it over "Doin' It" anyday. Total really make this song resonate with me.

Enjoy!

-Adam

OOH the early 90's

"Mmm Jeremy Jordan, all right"--Donna Martin, BH90210

Bahbah and Merhmaids

In honor of all this Barbara Walters mayhem and her scandalous romps, I'm posting one of my ALL time favorite clips of EVER, ALWAYS and FOREVER. Made by the Jezebel's Slut Machine and Rich of Four Four (I can not take credit for this genius) here is Bahbah in her finest interview yet. All I have to say is, Merhmaids, Merhmaids, Merhmaids.

Also, my KIND friend Pasquale said he would fetch me a copy of Bahbah's biography for review. The best part is that it will be an audio version so I can listen to Bahbah describe her most intimate thrusts of passion in her OWN sweet letter "R"less voice.

Review to come, check out the video for now and thank me later. OH how you will thank me.

Barbara Walters Is a Cheeseball
Uploaded by RichJuz

I Hate Stupid Boys

FHM released their top 100 sexist women list today. THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!! I've been waiting all YEAR for this!!!!!!!!!! Kill me. ANYWAY, so the top 10 are pretty lame I must say. Megan Fox of Transformers fame topped the list at #1. She's hot in that white trash whore sort of way I suppose but #1? paalleasseeeee.

Other's in the top 10 include Jessica Alba who I am SOOO over and was actually never under (shut it). I never saw the big deal with her. She's cute but nothing about her is striking to me. And besides she has genital Herpes, hotness automatically revoked.
+ =


Another disappointment was the inclusion of Hayden Pantyhoseiere. To me, when guys think that she's hot, it's almost like pedophilia. She looks like a child. A cute child but not a GORGEOUS child even. Her face is mehh, kinda dumb. SORRY!

Hillary Duff managed to make it to #8 beating out both Keira Knightley and Angelina Jolie. THIS makes me think, "wtf is wrong with these men?" Don't get me wrong, she's looking pretty cute these days with her new teeth but she still has that manish frame and she is NO Angelina. Let's get real here. Lindsay Lohan must be dying inside since she only made it to #41, losing even to Britney Spears at #31. Just goes to show you no matter how crazy or fat Britney gets Lindsay will never surpass her. Even Britney's secret lesbian side is more intriguing than Lindsay's. I love how they used this anorexic, side boob pic of Lindsay too. SUPER flattering.



Britney's moving up though apparently. She was at #54 last year so moving up 20 spots or so is a decent improvement I'd say. Must be a lot of guys who enjoy women with KFC grease on their face, mmmmmmm.

I'm very glad that Heidi Montag didn't manage to swindle her way onto this list. I thought for sure she'd be on here since she did that nauseating spread for FHM a few months back, but luckily American men were not fooled by her worthlessness.

My latest non-lesbian crush Marion Cotillard made the list at a SHOCKING #99. For SHAMMME America. This bitch is gorgeous and should definitely be higher up than Hillary Duff, barf. FHM didn't even give her the courtesy of posting a picture so in honor of France and cleaning up the standards of America I give you Marion Cotillard: GORGEOUS! JK, here's the real deal:

This Week on "The Hills"

Justin Bobby returned in the form of James Franco in a skanky wig. I love The Hills for it's retardedness and I love James Franco for his sexiness, so the two combined is a mess of sexy retardation. I love it. James really puts his all into this rendition of the beloved JB, BJ? His burping, cursing, deep thoughts all scream Justin Bobby! Mila Kunis on the other hand just has too much personality to play an accurate portrayal of Audrina. She's missing that blank stare that says "my eyes are open, but I'm dead inside." I can't wait till next week's episode, maybe Spencer in Heidi will even get in on the act.